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Toyota Corporate
Hybrid Synergy Drive from Toyota
TV/Cinema
isadn 64043

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Dr. Robert
he's always on the case

You just can’t help some people, can you? The Toyota Prius is neither outrageous nor crazy, it is a reasonably fuel efficient car with petrol/electric power which makes liberal minded, eco friendly folk feel OK about driving. As liberal minded, eco friendly people are normally quite well off Toyota have been able to charge quite a lot for this motor car. Perfectly good niche marketing, clever, but hardly bearing comparison with Albert Einstein.
Personally, I think the Prius is a perfectly good car and may well be a bridge towards the not unreasonable goal of entirely carbon neutral driving. Again this is not some kind of impossible pipe dream, but a perfectly feasible possibility. Most of the science is already in place, all that is required is an effort of will.
This kind of nonsensical ad from Toyota indicates that the will is still lacking. I suspect it has been produced for, or even by, the Americans for whom the state of motor car, or ‘automobile’ design remains, due mainly to cheap gasoline, in the stone age. For these folk the idea of a fuel efficient car that doesn’t actively poison the atmosphere may be up there with Albert Einstein, but for the rest of the world it’s not that clever.
And running this commercial is not that clever either. It makes the Prius look like some sort of pointless stunt in an impossible but noble game. This is simply not true, and we will all be driving around in amazingly fuel efficient little cars much sooner than we think. And oddly enough, it may be the Americans who make this happen. If they really get the heebie-jeebies about having to import their oil from increasingly pissed off parts of the world they are going to have to rely on their own production, and that will mean a considerable price rise and a cut in consumption. Watch this space, they could just save the world, again.




 46% of the vote. Number of votes 16
Wrong headed?
54% of the vote. Number of votes 19
Or just corporate?

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Nescafe Cappuccino
Economical Truth with Nescafe Skinny Cappuccino
TV/Cinema
isadn 64038

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"I SWEAR THATS.."

"WHO is the.."

Dear Prudence
she's out to play

I really hate this ad. OK I admit I don’t like instant coffee. In fact I don’t think I’ve had a cup of the stuff since about 1996. I don’t know why people think of it as coffee, it doesn’t taste anything like it. To me, even the best of them, the Superior, the Gold, the Continental, all taste like some sort of caramelised pan scrapings, but I know that lots of people absolutely love the stuff, and indeed prefer it to real coffee – my own mother for one. To them it’s a perfectly decent hot drink and much enjoyed I’m sure. I just wish that they wouldn’t call it coffee, because it ain’t, and it confuses people who actually like coffee.
But this ad isn’t even for a simple fake like instant coffee, this is some kind of fake, fake coffee-like substance which appears to be a ‘low fat’ cappuccino, how fake is that? The woman who is not really lardy at all, isn’t really an actress but looks a bit like and certainly acts like Dawn French, but isn’t, is phenomenally irritating as she lies about her sad and obviously fake life.
Everything in the ad reeks of falseness. The script is fake, the actress is fake, the product is fake, and somehow the fact they seem to have half noticed this only makes it worse. Even their knowingness is fake. There are layers of fakeness here, one set upon the other, but all still visible, like a palimpsest of fakeness. “Palimpsest?” I hear you say, well look it up, I’ve got it right, it’s one of the small advantages of going out with a bloke who works in a book shop.
 59% of the vote. Number of votes 18
Appallingly fake?
41% of the vote. Number of votes 13
Or just a bit of fun?

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Ariel Range
Cold is the New Hot with Ariel Excel Gel
TV/Cinema
isadn 64047

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"it's going to.."

Mrs E Rigby
the voice of common sense

I hear this thing all the time on the TV fashion shows, black is the new white, short is the new long and now Ariel is starting to go on about it. After bottom is the new top I started to get a bit lost, but I think they’re trying to tell us that they’ve got a new Ariel. I reckon it’s a bit like that new Persil concentrated, small and mighty they call that, which makes a bit more sense than all this 'big is the new small' stuff. But obviously it’s a good idea to have concentrated detergent and when Persil came out with one it was pretty certain that Ariel would come out with one too. They also claim it will wash at 15 degrees, cold is the new hot is what they say and that it will help the environment.
Well it’s not going to help the environment if people run washes with only one shirt in them like the bloke in this ad. I have enough trouble with my Saph trying to run our machine with just one top and a pair of knickers in it. Also if you only put one shirt in your machine the most useless detergent will probably be able to clean it a bit at 15 degrees. That’s what Val, who does my focus groups with me on Thursdays, says.
She says it’s a weasel, that’s what they call it. That’s why they only show one shirt, that way they can say that their Ariel works at 15c. According to Val, if they showed a full load coming out of the machine they wouldn’t be allowed to claim that Ariel washed at 15C, because the truth is, it only works at 15 degrees on very light loads, like one shirt. That’s a weasel anyway, and they’re quite common apparently. Well, weasel is the new lie, that’s what I say
 43% of the vote. Number of votes 15
Good ad?
57% of the vote. Number of votes 20
Spoilt by a weasel?

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Pampers Range
1 UNICEF Tetanus Vaccine per Pack of Pampers
TV/Cinema
isadn 64031

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The Fool on the Hill
sees the world going round

I wish I didn’t feel uneasy when looking at ads like this. In theory it all make sense, and is a good thing. Buy a pack of Pampers and Unicef will vaccinate one child against newborn tetanus.
Perhaps it is to do with the sentimental nature of the treatment, which gives off a slightly smug aura of self congratulation. Perhaps if the ad were more matter of fact, and less emotive I might not feel quite so uneasy.
There is nothing wrong with the premise, and indeed the developed world should be doing everything it can to help the less well off. Not in a patronising ‘lady bountiful’ sort of way, but in a spirit of enlightened self interest. The fact is, we are all citizens of an increasingly crowded world and as the global nature of credit crunch has clearly demonstrated, we are all in this together.
I would hope that we can move beyond slightly patronising notions of charity towards a more even handed idea of mutually assured survival. Helping those less well off than ourselves should be a natural and thoroughly sensible part of our lives, something that is not exceptional and not a reason for smugness or self congratulation.
We have a long way to go on this, but initiatives like this one from Pampers should be encouraged, even if the ad does seem a bit mawkish.

 45% of the vote. Number of votes 18
Too sentimental?
55% of the vote. Number of votes 22
Or nicely done?

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Inland Revenue Self Assessment
2 Dates to Remember In The News
TV/Cinema
isadn 64034

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Mr Mustard
he's so mean


This ad is pretty damn ill judged in my opinion. Most of us are in a constant state of simmering rage about our tax bills, and any communication from the inland revenue is about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit. The chances of it being good news are extremely rare and if they have something to tell us they should do so politely and quietly in order not to enrage us further.
I suppose the have tried to make this ad intrusive, and so it bloody well is. Imagine if you were that poor chap, finally summoning up the courage to talk to the girl you fancy in the office, only to have your pitch queered by a ridiculous fake news announcement from the inland revenue. How bloody annoying is that? If I was him I’d refuse to pay any taxes at all, and furthermore I’d sue the Inland Revenue for gross invasion of privacy.
Do the revenue really want to make themselves appear more irritating and objectionable than they already are? If so, then this ad is a magnificent piece of work, and delivers on all points. On the other hand if they wish us to feel more well disposed towards them, then they have failed dismally. The ad is not just a waste of taxpayers money, but an offensive and unpleasant waste of that money.
And by the way, does it really mean we all have to get our tax returns in by the end of the month?

 49% of the vote. Number of votes 18
Irritating and stupid?
51% of the vote. Number of votes 19
Irritating but effective?

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The Fool on the Hill
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Prince Of Mean
Bad adverts be warned
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the voice of common sense
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she's out to play
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